The Platinum Rule: Lead by Understanding Others

Several years ago, I ran environmental health for a food and beverage company with a team of three people, plus me. We were responsible for safety and compliance for more than 150,000 square feet of stores in five different cities, and despite being a successful department, our work styles couldn’t have been more different. Person A preferred detailed, novel-length emails and excel sheets. Person B rarely came into the office, working mostly from the store (and the espresso bar), with no use for emails or texts — just phone calls. And Person C, refused to work before 10 a.m. or after 6 p.m. and had a unique approach to tasks (and life), like insisting three cupcakes (instead of two) were definitely dinner.

If I had treated them all the way I prefer to be treated — by sending a flurry of texts and emails between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. or holding a series of back-to-back in-person meetings from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. (I love an in-person consensus-building sessions) — our team dynamic would have crumbled. 

To be an effective team leader, I had to forget the Golden Rule of “treat others how you want to be treated” and graduate to the Platinum Rule: “treat others how they want to be treated.”

What is the Platinum Rule (and How Does it Apply to the Workplace)?

When you think about it, treating everyone the way you want to be treated is actually a pretty self-centered approach to life.  It puts you at the center of the plate without regard for how other people think and feel. The Platinum Rule asks us to step outside our own preferences and consider how others want to be treated. It’s about recognizing that everyone communicates, works and makes decisions differently. 

In the workplace, this means understanding your colleagues' communication preferences, decision-making processes and feedback styles. It also means taking a good look at our own communication styles and behaviors. How are we influencing the team dynamic?

 A Leadership Mindset for Team Success

Teams are made up of individuals, each with their own communication styles, work preferences and motivations. As a leader, understanding these differences gives you — and them — a significant advantage.

Leaders who embrace the Platinum Rule create a culture of respect and understanding, which improves morale, job satisfaction and retention. When people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to stay engaged and contribute effectively. For instance, a leader who knows an introverted team member prefers written feedback instead of public praise can make that employee feel valued without making them uncomfortable. 

Here are three practical tips for implementing the Platinum Rule:

1. Know Your Team: Explore tools like the DiSC assessment, which measures a person’s Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness, to uncover how each person prefers to communicate and work. 

2. Ask and Listen: How do you know how people want to be treated? Simple — they tell you!  And what’s keeping you from hearing them — you! Proactively ask questions and actively listen to understand rather than just respond. 

3. Personalize Your Approach: Adjust your management or interaction style based on individual preferences. Some may love public recognition, while others may appreciate a quiet note of thanks. Small adjustments like these can make a huge difference in how your team feels and performs.

When teams understand each other’s communication styles, they collaborate more effectively, reduce misunderstandings and support each other better. The result? A more connected and productive team.

About Workplace Assessments

Workplace assessments like DiSC, MBTI, and the Hogan Personality Inventory (HPI), to name a few, are invaluable tools for understanding how people communicate, work and make decisions.

For example, the DiSC assessment helps reveal whether someone thrives on direct communication or prefers a more collaborative approach. MBTI provides insights into how people perceive the world and make choices, while HPI helps identify personality traits that influence work behavior. What I like about all of them is that they provide a common, depersonalized language with which to discuss differences.

However, it would be foolish to assume that’s the end of the story. People are complex, and so are team dynamics. Cultural, interpersonal and situational factors play a big role in how teams’ function and so does feedback. That’s why it’s essential to understand the results of workplace assessments and how to successfully implement what you learn. This can be done by working with your HR team or an outside consultant who can interpret assessment results and apply them to your specific environment.